Based on how the year started, 2023 seems to be all about growth. I broke up with my girlfriend; it was heartbreaking and showed me that I still have a lot to work on. I started my first company; we signed contracts on the 31st. Additionally, I’ve set myself the goal to read more. I didn’t quantify how much because I wanted to avoid being competitive about it, and well, that’s exactly what happened. I’ve read 5 books and listened to 2 audiobooks which put me on the perfect track to complete >52 books this year. However, I don’t want to make that my goal since I noticed I start to rush through books when thinking about how many books I could potentially read this year. I want to enjoy the read and try to learn as much as possible. Anyway, I decided to share the most memorable quotes and Ideas from some of the books I finished in January.
Poem from the book Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey (p. 250)
“Selfish
When I’m rich
enough to not care
about the money.
When a child’s
life is more
important than my own.
When my self-worth
isn’t reliant on
the adulation of
others.
When I don’t
care anymore
to outscore my desires,
I look near and
within, and get
self-ish.
This is the
measure of a man’s
greatness,
when a man becomes
classic.
When mortal
rewards are no
longer enough to
pay his rent,
man becomes legend.
Fish for yourself.
Self-ish.”
Again from Greenlights, a paragraph on success (p. 256)
“Humility is not on vogue anymore, it’s too passive. We can get rich on an internet scam, be an expert at nothing but everything if we say we are, get famous for our sex tape, and attain wealth, fame, rank, and power, even respect, without having a shred of competence for anything of value. It happens every day.
We all want to succeed. The question we need to ask ourselves is, what is success to us? More money? Okay. A healthy family? A happy marriage? Helping others? To be famous? Spiritually sound? To express ourselves? To create art? To leave the world a better place than we found it?
“What is success to me?” Continue to ask yourself that question. How are you prosperous? What is your relevance? Your answer may change over time and that’s fine, but do yourself this favor: Whatever your answer is, don’t choose anything that will jeopardize your soul. Prioritize who you are, who you want to be, and don’t spend time with anything that antagonizes your character. Don’t depend on drinking the Kool-AId. It’s popular, tastes sweet today, but it will give you cavities tomorrow.
Life is not a popularity contest. Be brave, take the hill, but first, answer the question, “What is my hill?””
(Un)fortunately I’ve gained some experience in literature synthesis, so I couldn’t help but notice a similar statement across “Catcher in the Rye”, “The defining decade”, and “The Psychology of Money”.
J.D. Salinger (p.202)
“Es ist komisch, man braucht bloß was sagen, was keiner versteht, dann machen die praktisch alles, was man will.”
Meg Jay (p. 29)
“If weak ties do favors for us, they start to like us. Then they become even more likely to grant us additional favors in the future.”
Morgan Housel or James clear
“The best way to make a stranger trust us is to ask them a favor.”
Asking strangers or weak ties for a favor is a good strategy to gain their trust. We already do it intuitively, but it’s nice to see that it’s backed by psychological findings.
Another good one I’ve read a couple of times is “The subtle art of not giving a fuck” by Mark Manson. He’s great at putting the things we already know in the back of our minds into clear writing. Some paragraphs that stuck with me:
Mark Manson (p. 72)
“… our values determine the nature of your problems, and the nature of our problems determines the quality of our lives.”
Mark Manson (p. 160)
“Freedom grants the opportunity for greater meaning, but by itself there is nothing necessarily meaningful about it. Ultimately, the only way to achieve meaning and a sense of importance in one’s life is through a rejection of alternatives, a narrowing of freedom, a choice of commitment to one place, one belief, or (…) one person.”
A book I’ve been avoiding reading was “The Defining Decade” by Mega Jay. It was recommended to me by a friend I had mixed feelings about, and I knew I would be reading things I didn’t want to hear. Mega Jay talks about life, work and relationship struggles of twentysomethings and offers solutions to typical problems. Most of her findings and statements are true and should be embraced as such. Some paragraphs below.
Meg Jay (p. xxvi)
“We think that by avoiding decisions now, we keep all of our options open for later – but not making choices is a choice all the same.”
Meg Jay (p. 7)
“Twentysomethings who take the time to explore and also have the nerve to make commitments along the way construct stronger identities. They have higher-self esteem and are more persevering and realistic. This path to identity is associated with a host of positive outcomes, including a clearer sense of self, greater life satisfaction, better stress management, stronger reasoning, and resistance to conformity (…).”
Meg Jay (p. 160)
“Confidence means “with trust”. In research psychology, the more precise term is self-efficacy, or one’s ability to be effective or produce desired outcomes.”
Meg Jay (p. 181)
“Trying au natural – just having sex around the time of ovulation – a woman has about a 20 to 25 per cent chance of conceiving during each cycle, up to about age 35. (…). After age thirty-five, the per-cycle odds of pregnancy start to drop sharply, down to 5 per cent at forty, then 3 per cent at forty-one, and 2 per cent at forty-two.”
Finally, a small selection of quotes that were referenced in the books mentioned above:
William James, psychologist and philosopher
“The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”
Dale Carnegie, writer and lecturer
“Inaction breeds fear and doubt. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
Sören Kierkegaard, philosopher
“The more you use your brain, the more brain you will have to use.”
Socrates: “The unexamined life is not worth living”.
Sheldon Kopp (psychologist): “The unlived life is not worth examining”.